Subject that concerns us all. Friends are big part of our lives, they make us laugh, smile, cry and get angry but most importantly they help us grow.
Those last few years, the meaning of friendship has been a lot on my mind. Having grown up in the same town and in the same school, I was used to living in a bubble surrounded by friends that had known me since the early ages. Our lives weren’t very complicated, it mainly revolved around the same thing for all of us. My school was very international and though all my friends were very different and from different cultures, we all lived in the same bubble, with almost the same background and the same upbringing. This was when I first started to construct my idea of friendship. I later on was to discover that this idea was very biased and way too naive.
As I grew up and eventually graduated, I made the decision to go to university in London and therefore leave the country and town I had lived in my whole life. Most of my friends from school were also moving for university which meant that we would soon all be split up in different countries. I was sad to leave them but I held on to the idea that true friendship would last even through distance. Some time passed by and as I had feared I could feel some friendships fall apart. However, they were only falling apart to my standards. Those people were still my friends but they were now living their new life with new friends and making memories which I wasn’t part of. This is when I realised how entitled my concept of friendship was and as I started also settling in my new life and making new friends, I finally let go of this over idealised and unrealistic concept of friendship.
And here I am, a few years later, with a complete different view. I want to make it clear that I’m not trying to give a definition to friendship, I don’t think there is one. It should mean different things for all of us and it should constantly change throughout our lives. The importance here is that your idea of friendship resonates with you. The only thing I want to do in this post is simply express my view and my feelings on it now after having changed my mind multiple times, in hopes that maybe it speaks to someone else.
To me, friendship is a very vague concept. It means different things with different people. I have friends who I care a lot for and friends who I just appreciate spending time with. So at the end of the day, every friendship is different. There is some people I love to have deep talks with and other people I love to have fun and party. They are all my friends but our relationships are very different from one another. I’m also learning to let go of people who don’t put effort into our friendship because to me there is no such things as “good friends” but only friends who care and therefore put work into it. There are also friends who you grow apart from for a while, because life you know, and then a few years later you reconnect and nothing has changed. I think it’s important to not get too caught up in the meaning of friendship because it’s a sure way to get disappointed and let me tell you people can be very disappointing. Focus on how those people make you feel, they should lift you up and inspire you and not bring you down or wish you harm. Most of all, I think it’s important to take a step back and have enough self worth to ask yourself do they deserve my friendship?
Let me know what your experiences and views are on friendship because I’m curious about what other people think about it x